A two-time Olympic gymnastics champion and an all-around down-ass chick, Aly Raisman does not rattle on or off the mat. At the tender age of 24, she has killed the game at two Olympics, snatching up 3 golds, 2 silvers, and 1 bronze, making her the second-most decorated American female Olympic gymnast of all time. Known for her power, reliability, and inability to break under pressure, Aly was the team captain and grounding force for the 2012 and 2016 Olympic gymnastics teams. After just missing out on a medal for the all-around in 2012, she came back with a vengeance in 2016 to take the silver medal, second only to the demigod of gymnastics, Simone Biles.
But wait. There’s more.
Aly was one of several hundred women and girls to come forward in 2016/2017 with reports of sexual abuse at the hands of staff, coaches, and gym owners associated with USA Gymnastics (USAG). While her 2016 floor routine is hard to beat, she may have outdone herself in July 2017 when she testified against Larry Nassar, the monstrous shitbag who was later convicted of sexually assaulting hundreds of athletes and sentenced to decades in prison, where he will die. Her 13-minute testimony was absolute.fucking.fire. and you can watch it here. Staring down the douche of the day and using his first name like an overworked kindergarten teacher, she lets her victimizer know that he ain’t shit.
And why stop there? The second half of her testimony reams USAG and the United States Olympic Committee (USOC) for remaining silent and inactive in the face of these reports of abuse. Dissatisfied with their continued lack of response or remorse, Aly filed suit against both entities in February 2018, determined to see these powers held accountable for their complicity in the aforementioned atrocities. Since then, she has used her celebrity to bring more attention and action to the issues of sexual assault against women and children. Could there be a presidential bid in this young woman’s future? We certainly hope so.
Learn more about the unshakeable Aly Raisman in Episode 6 – A Very Titty Episode.
Gloria Steinem is one of the most visible and well-known feminists of the 20th C. Even if you don’t know the name, you probably know the face. As stoned Sociology majors, Melissa and I had our share of feminist theory. But even some of the greatest minds fell through the cracks of an academic career we were only partially devoted to, and neither her nor I knew the tail (PUN ALERT) of Gloria’s undercover life as a Playboy Bunny.
Hugh Hefner really, honestly, not even kidding marketed his enterprise of slime as some sexual revolution. Puritanical America wah wah wah! While his assessment of the sexual landscape of American culture was spot-on, his Playboy empire was obviously centered around male pleasure via the degradation of female sexuality. (Only size 4 women with double-D tits possess sexuality – did you know?) Gloria peeped the game and was like, ‘This is some horseshit, and I am going to expose this cock façade for what it really is.’
Taking advantage of her thin frame and good looks, Gloria went undercover as a Playboy Bunny for several weeks to get all the inside poop scoop on this “sexual revolution.” Her findings included management’s active encouragement of eating disorders among the Bunnies, bait and switch techniques in which Bunnies were expected to refuse sexual advances from clients UNLESS they were VIP, and crap wages based on an arbitrary demerit system. She eventually published her expose in Show Magazine, which garnered her a ton of flak from he-man woman haters and perpetual derision from Playboy. No matter – she is now one of the most instrumental and celebrated feminists in the world. And Hugh Hefner is dead. The end.
Learn more about this 007-level stint in Episode 6 – A Very Titty Episode.